Questions. Always questions. Why do I feel so crazy all the time? Why can I never be settled? Why do I like change TOO much? Why do I struggle with contentment so much? Always the same questions.
The answer? It's obvious isn't it? Where should I find my contentment? Where should I learn fulfillment? There's only one answer and it so blatantly obvious that I seem to miss it all the time.
The answer? It's Christ. Why is it so difficult to acknowledge something so simple? So simple that our faith is likened to a child's; yet, this simplicity is one of the hardest things to achieve... Achieve...well that's just not the word. That's part of the problem I suppose.
Stagnancy is probably the worst form of punishment for my crazy self...yet that's all I can sense. Stagnancy and non-significance. I guess that's the other part of the problem. Who defines significance? Not me. But, somehow, I always do.
Questions that are always lingering with such a simple and profound answer. I guess the real question should be, "why?"
12.06.2008
10.28.2008
Back to the blog! Hey everyone! I've recently decided that I needed to start blogging again! (Or for the first time, since I hardly did before) I used to journal A LOT and in the midst of life have somehow "lost the time" with that outlet. So...I suppose this is the new source of release...oh joy. ;)
10.27.2008
Life
I know I'm lame for never writing on here...but I'm planning on being much better. This is a resolution for me. :) Do you ever have those days where nothing seems to make sense? Where you can't shake that "feeling" and can't escape the deep, analytical, and, lots of times, depressive black hole that is your mind? I do. Yesterday was one of those days.
The resolution I came to is always the same....thank God that we have a God...and hope. Without the hope that we've been given, what would we live for? Yes, there is love, which is the greatest of all gifts, but within our present time and state of being...I know I would be utterly lost without the hope that we have because of Christ.
On these days especially, I am a constant mess of turmoil because I'm not making more of a difference, jealous at those who I believe are, frustration because I do not want my life to be wasted, and the hope that it will not be in the future. I admit, I have a hard time seeing the worth in the present things my life consists of...which is bogus because our youth group is thriving, JD is doing fantastic in school and work, and I'm gaining good experience in my present job. I guess my problem is that I don't feel as though I'm on the "front lines." (That's a loaded phrase).
In my contemplative state I ponder...why are we, as "proud Americans," not making more waves within many issues that plague our world. Why do we sit back and fret about not being able to purchase Christmas presents where there are children across the world being sold for sexual slavery? Why are we so caught up in "achieving the American dream" that we do not notice those who cannot even achieve life because they do not have the means to do so? Why are we so stuck in this consumerist society that teaches you to want more and more, diving further and further into dept...which only promises dept and desire that is never satisfied? We say we want to help and do more for our world, yet we are stuck trying to make the cash to pay for the crap that is not satisfying our hunger for "stuff."
Anyway, all this to say...I'm glad we have hope for a better future. I certainly desire that we can be practical in the hope that we offer those that are suffering. Help them to see the beauty that is Christ by offering the things they need to experience what hope can look like. How can we tell people to have hope when what they are actually in need of, and hoping for, we do not offer? I desire that people can see that sometimes the words we offer are meaningless unless we can also offer solutions to those that we are looking to "save." Save-what a loaded word...How silly Christians can make it sound... but that's a whole other issue that I do not have time to write about at this moment.
The resolution I came to is always the same....thank God that we have a God...and hope. Without the hope that we've been given, what would we live for? Yes, there is love, which is the greatest of all gifts, but within our present time and state of being...I know I would be utterly lost without the hope that we have because of Christ.
On these days especially, I am a constant mess of turmoil because I'm not making more of a difference, jealous at those who I believe are, frustration because I do not want my life to be wasted, and the hope that it will not be in the future. I admit, I have a hard time seeing the worth in the present things my life consists of...which is bogus because our youth group is thriving, JD is doing fantastic in school and work, and I'm gaining good experience in my present job. I guess my problem is that I don't feel as though I'm on the "front lines." (That's a loaded phrase).
In my contemplative state I ponder...why are we, as "proud Americans," not making more waves within many issues that plague our world. Why do we sit back and fret about not being able to purchase Christmas presents where there are children across the world being sold for sexual slavery? Why are we so caught up in "achieving the American dream" that we do not notice those who cannot even achieve life because they do not have the means to do so? Why are we so stuck in this consumerist society that teaches you to want more and more, diving further and further into dept...which only promises dept and desire that is never satisfied? We say we want to help and do more for our world, yet we are stuck trying to make the cash to pay for the crap that is not satisfying our hunger for "stuff."
Anyway, all this to say...I'm glad we have hope for a better future. I certainly desire that we can be practical in the hope that we offer those that are suffering. Help them to see the beauty that is Christ by offering the things they need to experience what hope can look like. How can we tell people to have hope when what they are actually in need of, and hoping for, we do not offer? I desire that people can see that sometimes the words we offer are meaningless unless we can also offer solutions to those that we are looking to "save." Save-what a loaded word...How silly Christians can make it sound... but that's a whole other issue that I do not have time to write about at this moment.
10.12.2007
The Move
Well, we made it! We are in Arizona now, after three days of driving. (J.D. drove because Alaina was scared of the whale-sized truck and trailer) We're in the process of settling into the house and unpacking our very packed truck. (thanks everyone who helped) Alaina isn't sure yet of living in the, very brown and hot, desert again, but knows this is what God has called us to do, and is excited about the numerous options that await her. J.D. is just excited about the year-long baseball and softball possibilities.
We already miss our friends and family in Oregon...and leaving was probably the hardest thing we've had to do. We're excited for our future, but already miss our wonderful past in the awesome place of Portland. Seriously, if I could convince everyone to move to Portland....I would do it. How could you not love that place?
We already miss our friends and family in Oregon...and leaving was probably the hardest thing we've had to do. We're excited for our future, but already miss our wonderful past in the awesome place of Portland. Seriously, if I could convince everyone to move to Portland....I would do it. How could you not love that place?
The Blog...
Well we did it! We started a blog.... Welcome to our blog... J.D. and Alaina's adventures!
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